The mountain mother, Cybelle

Tears fell down Carla’s face, pinched and contracted into what looked like fear. She was terrified. She was exhausted. And she was just coming around to the idea that she was furious. Her husband was available and helpful, but only if she asked for specific help. SHE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT SHE NEEDED. Carla was six months into motherhood. She was being drowned out by a beautiful little creature that seemed to be devouring every bit of energy she possessed before asking for more. It didn’t ask either, it screamed. It screamed and she answered. Sometimes she felt good about it, most of the time she felt numb. Instagram became a source of constant shame, as manicured mothers who got back into incredible shape about thirty minutes after delivery talked about how much joy and love was filling their every moment with their baby. 

It was too much, and Carla was in active collapse, unable to maintain the burdens of job, baby, and husband, on top of having lost her father earlier that year. A common report was that she felt trapped, trapped in the role of mother, of wife, of giver; unable to sustain the constant output. When I learned of Cybelle, the mountain mother, Carla came to mind immediately. 

Cybelle is an origin god. Meaning she doesn’t necessarily have a birth story to her existence because she just is. What she is, is the mother; yet she doesn’t seem to resemble the mother image we foist onto women these days at all. Cybelle was worshipped in Anatolia (ancient Turkey) as early as 7000 BC. 

Cybelle seems to predate the idea that motherhood precludes aggression. She had easy access to hers. She stared out into the mystery of the wild, back when civilization was still standing on newborn legs, and she tamed it. She kept Lions as pets to run her chariot. She was round bodied and gave up none of her feminine power. She was the goddess of fertility, but she did not allow her babies to devour her more than she chose to give. 

She maintained a particular hold on men, captivating them so powerfully her priests would choose to castrate themselves, symbolically leaning on her ability to handle the terrors of life rather than try to make their own way. Cybelle is round and robust. She is mother, she is conqueror of fear, she is hypnotic, uncompromising of herself and proud of her body, stirring up longing and ardor. 

At her pace, Carla became receptive to putting words to even the most difficult aspects of her motherhood. For Carla, postpartum depression gave way to an underlying and less talked about postpartum rage*. Motherhood had dunked Carla underwater and her body was raging at the volume of needs she was being asked to manage. Carla was trained to resist and ignore these aggressive feelings, but that path had now cornered her. Slowly, she became more open to her feelings of rage, taming them and using them, like the way Cybelle tamed her lions. 

Just like in the cult of Cybelle, Carla began to request that her husband give significantly more of his energy away to their baby and to ask less of her in turn. A shift in labor was needed, and Carla took the reins to place the family into a more flexible arrangement. Ironically her husband made the remark that he felt like she was “breaking his balls,” a few times during the early stages of the transition, though he came to appreciate the many benefits of having a more self-possessed partner in time. Carla’s anger became less concerning to both of them, but rather a valuable indicator for adjustment. 

Cybelle’s motherhood model might invoke castration imagery on male counterparts because she refuses to prioritize satiating her partners while her mother role is being borne out. The priorities became, herself, her baby, and then her partner. Parenthood was no less exhausting, but Carla channeled her developing anger into a fierce self preservation. Motherhood never became easy for Carla, but she did report many warm moments to balance out the aggravating ones. Most of all Carla came to see her childbirth as the fulcrum that pushed her to discover more about herself. The mountain mother’s gifts are grounded and gritty, but that adds to her value. A goddess that has endured in the minds of humans for over nine thousand years probably has something worth listening to. 

* Seeing Red: A Grounded Theory Study of Women's Anger after Childbirth - PubMed

** Carla is a blended character from a few people; all the experiences are real. 

*** Developed from January 2026 myth group discussion.